The directors drive DB9′s and R35 GTR’s… and why not? I would if  I owned an insurance company!

Just for the record I prefer the GTR any day, but it has been a regular discussion between my soon to be hubby (who had a GTR at 19 years old – the youngest in the UK ever), that if we won the New Zealand Big Wednesday lottery, he would hold onto the DB9. (The the Porsche KN also in the NZ Lotto can well and truly take a hike)

So, here I am, at One Call ( “… Does it all”) after applying for ‘Marketing and PR Manager’ and quickly adjusting my contract to say ‘Creative Development Manager’. In reality, I am half pegged between the IT / Marketing and Operations departments with employees feeling sorry for me being in the IT room.

I love being in the IT room! Very few know my skills and history and (plus being female) so assume that my title means I am totally technically un-savvy and  do nothing more than direct the company marketing budget – FAR FROM THE TRUTH, and no wonder the personally considered ‘PR/Public Relations”detrimental title is not to be applied to me.  I have managed a computer store with an 8 strong technical team and co-run an IT consultancy. My dad had a very successful Electrical business (so does my ex husband), and my dad is an Electrical and Mechanical engineer who designed the cam shafts for BMW and General motors. I grew up with mechanics, computers and electronics right down to stripping engines and building alarm clocks for the fun of it from scratch in the garage as a kid.

I had a conversation with a few girls on a break at work where they told me horror stories of bad electrics in their houses. One said that her young son broke a power point and now live wires are all exposed but is taking days to get a qualified Electrician in for it. I said it only takes 5 minutes to turn the power off and fit a 2 pound fifty socket front on which come with wiring instructions… but it is all alien to them and they think if the freezer is off for more than 30seconds, that the earth will cave in!

Ah well, all is fine in the IT room. I don’t work well in a room with women at all, so I am enjoying this due to my interests and mental make up. If the management understood a remotest part of technology, programming or graphics whatsoever (as in the intricacies, cost and time), it would be even better…. but you get that everywhere.

As someone that has over 8 years formal training in Graphic design (with particular specialist in Corporate Identity/Branding) and has also vast experience across all facets of the design industry, I do get a tad more than annoyed when I see bad design decision and BUDGET getting made without my inclusion and informed input. This will be overcome. Respect is never earned immediately but I estimate that I have already saved the company about 40k in the few weeks I have been there. I have also made headway in giving at least 3 of their company’s a more professional corporate image.

Anyway…. here is the website built in a day… obviously ’live ‘is ‘live’so that one will change when I get time to do it  (IF – I get time to do it lol).

On my own hosting: O C Commercial Insurance.

Live: http://occommercial.co.uk/

You will see that not all the information is complete on the O.C. Commercial website but I HAD to put something up that looked better for now!

On the live site you will get a layout ‘bug’ on Firefox only which I am going to track down, but on my own hosting, it is absolutely fine! (maybe it did not upload properly at work to the live site – I will update this post appropriately)

Feel free to look at the code and the css, as it is well annotated. I have used some of JQUERY UI, made it IE6 ok, Non Javascript friendly etc.

One of my next web projects will be to sort the One Call Direct Website.

Found this one on YouTube via a tweet. I think it is absolutely brilliant! (27th Nov 2009)

Heres the Link to the YouTube for it

A new one I like – Discovered 7th May 2010- but what starts as Picasso, delves into at least two other artists including one of my favourites ‘Salvador Dali’and eventually back into Piccassos Guernica. – Fantastic, well done.

Being a pretty much every day Twitter follower I do have the occasion to notice a few things.

Why do I follow Twitter and what hooks us in? My answer would be that if you look enough, follow enough, you tend to find out MUCH more about what is going on in the world that you normally will never find out about.

If you are a news follower, you will be aware that if you saw something really juicy and then try to send a link to it later, you will find it gone. Heck, my dad, who lived in Florida at the time of New Orleans did not get to see the part of news footage I saw on the TV in NZ that’s for sure, when he said – “NO ONE was seriously hurt or fatally injured” (Thats CNN Brainwashing for you)”.

Back to Twitter. I was hopeful that they were going to make some successful and useful changes to Twitter in the large amount of down time that they have had today. The big Whale being carried by birds is cute saying “Twitter is over Capacity” but it was getting ridiculous.

Go Here to see Collected Twitter Fail Screens

Now that Twittervillie is back after said updates and we have all been for our suggested Ice Cream and been told to “chill out”, things are not that much improved.

It appears that the maintenance was purely about Censorship and cutting what they deem to be inappropriate users. I have seen a fair share of beautiful ladies on there tweeting for personal services ‘twhustling’?? ….( suggestions on a post card please for the right term there). Those ladies all seem to be there, doing well, and are content… So WHAT are they doing?

I retweeted a post that made me fall off my chair earlier and it goes a little something like this.

#in2010 YouTube, Twitter, MySpace and Facebook are going to merge into a big timewasting site called YouTwitMyFace ….com

Guess what …. It’s GONE!

I laughed SO hard, and SO had to get it back out on the ‘Tinterweb’ or twitterweb ……. “It’s Good to Share” … so let us share already says ME to the YouTwitFace.com Censorship board.   :p

UPDATE… The end is nigh

Twitter, Facebook and Myspace are all signed up in deals with Google Article here

So we need to update the name to something more appropriate:

You Twit My Face .com

Enjoy!:

Too Many Tweets

Thanks for Noticing!

Chill - Have an icecream

Twit Suspended

Don't forget the Cats Prezzie!!

This is Tommy my evil sidekick…… All donations to getting him a decent Christmas prezzie this year would be gratefully accepted! Help me, my family is in grave danger – we must appease the cat!

We take Paypal – contact me, cheerz :p

Typical Craptasia

Well, I think you can guess from the post title that I am not impressed with Camtasia.

I truly understand why Camtasia is a very popular screen recording tool. It is $299 USD versus over $1000 USD for the better alternative from Adobe which is ‘Captivate’. What I find most amusing is that Camtasia shows Adobe clearly as if they are a ‘valued’ customer. Unless Adobe own Techsmith I find it highly unlikely that Adobe would use Camtasia and only purchase it to confirm that Adobe / Macromedia are obviously far better equipped to produce Adobe flash movies – don’t you think?! This brings me to question all the other big names that Camtasia push such as IBM on their customer list somewhat!

Not everyone has 300 to 1000 USD to throw away on software so I highly recomend you Google “open source screen recording” and get something FAR better for FREE!

Here is an example: CamStudio.

What I found funny on the Camstudio website front page is a quote:

“Nick, here is what I think I’ll do; rather than fork out the $300.00 bucks for [CENSORED], I’ll just keep using CamStudio.”

$300? hmmm, what is the betting that the Censored part is a lot of swearing amongst the word “Camtasia”

Like any self serving company trying to sell a product, they of course are not going to point out their limitations. If you visit the Techsmith forums, you will find plenty.

I have had the ill fortune to have to work will Camtasia productions

Welcome to the ‘Winging Pom’

I have now been in New Zealand for over 4 years. I am a UK citizen, and like just about all the British I had my gripes about England.
The high population,
the crime,
the bomb scares,
white English being a minority,
not being able to wear a football shirt on World cup day without getting arrested for it,
no smoking allowed in your OWN car or at a bus stop,
men getting gang raped by men,
letters from school requiring YOU to sign that the school is not responsible for your child finding or getting hurt by hypodermic needles in the playground.
being burgled so much that insurance wont cover you,
burglars throwing concrete slabs through your sleeping child’s bedroom window, and still raiding the house even though you’re in and awake….

SURE, I have a fair amount of UK Grievances up my sleeve.

I moved to NZ more to rescue my mum from a con artist over here. Yes the place is really pretty, but there is only so much ‘nothingness’ you can take. For all those with the Rose tinted glasses view of New Zealand I thought I would share a few truths about this luscious green land.

Most of these were tweeted with a 140 Character limit…. they were done to cheer me up, and most raised hilarity here and among friends in the UK.

Enjoy….

I knew I was in NZ when: All paint takes minimum 4 coats to cover eg white over white

I knew I was in NZ when: ‘Gloss’ paint is most popularly WATER based.

I knew I was in NZ when: Theres only such thing as brand name ‘Glad Wrap’ as far as Kiwis concerned. ‘Cling Film’ is beyond comprehension

I knew I was in NZ when: I was ELATED beyond belief to find ‘pink bats’ in my rental (Insulation to the rest of world)

I knew I was in NZ when:… Don’t get me started on ‘The Warehouse’. [jingle] where everyone gets a piece of *****{jingle]

I knew I was in NZ when: The lady at the chemist say “We only DO NZ products here” while staring at Colgate, Lynx, Calvin Klein..

I knew I was in NZ when: My bank manager had never HEARD of Paypal

I knew I was in NZ when: I go out to Auckland CITY center on a Saturday night to a nightclub and the tumbleweeds blow by

I knew I was in NZ when: …………….. ahhhh feeling a little better now – next installment of insult shortly

I knew I was in NZ when: The IRD is the most aptly named on the planet ‘Te tari TAAKE’… they TAKE alright!

I knew I was in NZ when: Friday afternoon, the ‘cop shop’ might not be open!

I knew when I was in NZ when: The ‘dairy’ closes at 6, the liquor store at 7, the garage at 8 and everyone is in bed by 9

I knew I was in NZ when: You have a problem? they say a TV show called “fair Go” is your only hope

I knew I was in NZ when: Someone starts trading with your registered trademark, and the Intel Prop office and Trading Stds office do NOTHING

I knew I was in NZ when: I see 15yr old in charge of lethal weapons, unattended, with no training. (restricted driving license)

I knew I was in NZ when: I have gone through 6 cars in 2 years that are supposedly serviced regularly even by the manufacturer

I knew I was in NZ when: I said “ooh a tree”… “ooh, Grass” erm… “ooh, a tree”… “a cow” wow, a sheep”… “ooh, a tree”… more trees.

I knew I was in NZ when: The entire North Island loses power and the local reminisce about the power going out for THREE WEEKS like its OK

I knew I was in NZ when: I am lucky today… the internet only went off 4 times so far, and slowed to unusable crawl a couple times.

I knew I was in NZ when: Summer comes and it’s FLY HEAVEN- No Dustbins, just paid-for plastic bags less than nano cm thick. Learn 2 Luv RAID

I knew I was in NZ when: All the cops have got ‘UKdar’ , are millions worse than the Essex police, and all suffer from delusion

I knew I was in NZ when: Even the kiwis refer to immigration as Nazis lol

I knew I was in NZ when: I lived a few winters in 2mm thick single glazed windows and raining bedroom walls

I knew I was in NZ when: Watching a road resurface was like watching a waltz. Over pretty quick but stock up on brake discs/paint etc

I knew I was in NZ when: Saw a 16yr old driving backwards FAST up a hill with a 3yr old on her lap

I knew I was in NZ when: Breakfast cerials are made by ‘Sanitarium’ – sounds like a shit factory or the ‘lady disposal’ unit in a pub toilet
(And tastes like it too)

I knew I was in NZ when: people think a thermostat on the wall and Gas Central Heating is like a Star Trek Concept

I knew I was in NZ when: If I have Deep fat fryer, electric fry pan … and then turn Kettle on – the Power cuts off EVERY time!

I knew I was in NZ when: MP’s use valuable time to try make ‘Lessons on how not to shake a baby’ classes LAW for all new parents

I knew I was in NZ when: Only in last 6 months 2 alternate mobile phone networks are scrambling to exist apart from the ONLY TWO here

I knew I was in NZ when: We only JUST got ADSL 2 on selected exchanges in the last 2 yrs

I knew I was in NZ when: The only unlimited Broadband plan is over $500/month – otherwise pay ridiculous/MB

I knew I was in NZ when: Purposeful speeding to stop being overtaken is highly commended

I knew I was in NZ when: They need traffic lights to filter onto a motorway – They dont know how otherwise

I knew I was in NZ when: Passing lanes are nearly ALWAYS on long blind bends

I knew I was in NZ when: 2 lane carriageways (rare) are called Motorways

I knew I was in NZ when: People in the far North carry a shovel in the car boot incase they need to stop to relieve bowels – TRUE!!!

I knew I was in NZ when: I worked in a Newspaper and for 3 solid weeks had ZERO work – TRUE (Whangarei)

I knew I was in NZ when: Someone tries to open up a language school, has 3 parking spaces and told by council got too many

I knew I was in NZ when: council does noise pollution tests for new developments in the middle of major roadworks- as ‘accurate readings’

I knew I was in NZ when: They route internet traffic via around the world twice before getting to destination.(any way to avoid Aussie)

I knew I was in NZ when: I wear a skirt and high heels and get looked at like an alien. – so stopped bothering years ago

I knew I was in NZ when: Not having a pair of ‘Gumboots’ (Wellies) is considered sacrilidge – they look at you gobsmacked

I knew I was in NZ when: They love ‘Kiwi made’ but cant tell which ‘Made in NZ’ stuff was made in China

I knew I was in NZ when: an IPhone costs $979 and the idiots buy them even though hardly any 3G network here

got road works, new sewage/water pipes being put in – over last few weeks the water has gone ‘Frothy’ on boil – Now NZ trying to poison me?

Recruitment question. Q: Are you Willing to travel?: A: YES- 13,000 Miles Straight down with a VERY BIG Drill

I knew I was in NZ When: Even the other English people stab you in the back.

I knew I was in NZ when: Ive been here too long and MISS UK Black ice, slush and drizzle

I knew I was in NZ when: The idea of Christmas in the sun is now depressing.. and WRONG. No break in the winter months – just nothingness

I knew I was in NZ when: No point in Chistmas lighting – all in bed by 9pm here and not got dark yet!

I knew I was in NZ when: Maybe if I complain enough they will deport us for free? hmmm

I knew I was in NZ when: Return flights TO NZ are only $1800 but return flights to get OUT are $3500 – per person
Both economy – 800GBP vs lowest could find and booked 6 months in advance 1500GBP
Sorry no flippin’ pound sign on this americanised keyboard!

I knew I was in NZ when: A part time IT engineer earns LESS for the month than a UK kid on a paper round.
Serious – 80hours is 560GBP

LOW LOW rent is $340 per WEEK (635GBP/month) and gets a poor area/sh*thole/or middle of nowhere. Average rent is more like $460/wk which gets slightly (SLIGHTLY) more reasonable house/place (790GBP/month) – Current exchange rate

I knew I was in NZ when: You get burgled and they even take the half bottles of Shampoo and Conditioner!
True – this happened to a friend who lives in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a field.

I knew I was in NZ when: They think that if a firework is shaped in certain way – you’re SUPPOSED to hold it ( I hid at home this year)

I knew I was in NZ when : Being let down via incompetance is a daily part of life

I knew I was in NZ when: I end up losing the ‘WTF’ reaction, lose any savvy … its called the ‘Kiwi Conditioning process’

I knew I was in NZ when: Killed about 20 White Tail spiders in the house so far, and wow they are fast!

I knew I was in NZ when: confirming an appt for the snip that been waiting for for 4 years, and they dont know who you are

I knew I was in NZ when: Walking on the beach you may find dead poisonous puffer fish and the odd washed up dieing dolphin

I knew I was in NZ when: Vodafone decided to charge $1/min for customer service on payg

I knew I was in NZ when:19MB through a 20MB file the net just drops, I pay for b/width per MB! *!@#*@E#%(!@#

I knew I was in NZ when: I saw a grown 34yr old man staring in awe at a kids world globe in the store because never seen one before

I knew I was in NZ when: The cost of Telephone, Mobile and brodband costs $150/month altogether vs 20GBP UK and not mentioning TV

I knew I was in NZ when: Sky TV is more expensive with 50% Less channels

I knew I was in NZ when: When it’s gloriously sunny n blithe- Sky TV regularly has ‘ Rain Fade ‘

I knew I was in NZ when: Sky TV people have no clue what a Synopsis is!

I knew I was in NZ when: Sky TV Guide gives ‘Listings temp Unavailable’ but when you go to a channel it tell u what it is – 90% of time

I knew I was in NZ when: As soon as I say anything true about NZ they cant wait for me to leave – sorry for taking those rose tinted glasses

I knew I was in NZ when: The spiders all LOOK like they want to EAT YOU, even though may be harmless

I knew I was in NZ when: Yet AGAIN, uploading 45MB file to RS and the connection glitches at 90% – Now this is on purpose!!!

I knew I was in NZ when: I am willing to pay $30 for a UK box of Weetabix!!!!!

I knew I was in NZ when: The retard Mac Zealot ICT head wont allow a normal word program for the students even though licensed for it

I knew I was in NZ when: They plan to air Season 4 Dr. Who specials BEFORE ever airing Season 3!

I knew I was in NZ when: ALL the good music and video sites are “not available in your area”

I knew I was in NZ when: 90% of the crazy amount of Junk mail is for places not within a 50 mile radius. “No Junk Mail” sticker gets Ignored

I knew I was in NZ when: McDonalds refuse to take an order for a “Big Breakfast”- forced to say “Kiwi big breakfast” or your not getting it!

I knew I was in NZ when: phone, mobile, Sky TV and internet are LITERALLY FOUR times more expensive than the UK

I knew I was in NZ when: You are expected to Conform to sending daughter camping for a week as is more important than catching up on grades

I knew I was in NZ when: School refuses daughter to re-do course work – and put her on the ‘unteachable burger flipping list’

I knew I was in NZ when: My 14yr old’s school- all done for last 2 weeks solid is play games and watch movies

I knew I was in NZ when: They call police if play music at 9pm, but is OK to wake you up at 6am cleaning out boats at 70 DB’s

I knew I was in NZ when: Christmas dinner more commonly involves Fish n Chips -The Ham at $70+ isn’t for everybody

I knew I was in NZ when: No chain-able lighting and white outdoor lights are so weak they’re faint yellow

I knew I was in NZ when: If you don’t DO sitting on bum fishing, don’t come here!

I knew I was in NZ when: Boats and Tractors are THE ‘IN’ thing – any idea how loud they all are – you will learn to hate them

I knew I was in NZ when: The local hardware store had to wait 3 months for a supply of light bulbs!

I knew I was in NZ when: ok GOOD – playgrounds are everywhere – mostly with dangerous G-force Spinning apparatus (Don’t get on when drunk)

I knew I was in NZ when: There are plenty of murders here – usually covered up by ‘road death’

I knew I was in NZ when: Sky Movies Pack consists of 1&2 END. not 1 though 12… and you PAY for TCM

These are REAL experiences – I am not Bullshitting you !!!

If you are a Kiwi that finds this lot a bit offensive – do yourself a favor and get a lobotomy and a sense of humor. It is not intended to “have a ‘go’” at NZ. The British quite happily moan about their own country all day long! I also recommend you read the snippet of UK Gripes at the top.

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Travel Sick – Czech Republic

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Travel Sick – Japan

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